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Boobs. There. I said it. That’s what I’m writing about today. Boobs.

They come in all shapes and sizes. Big ones, small ones, pointy ones, round ones, saggy ones perky ones, uneven ones, pale ones, dark ones, hairy ones. Some have stretchmarks, some have pimples, some have tattoos, some have scars, some have piercings, some have never seen the light of day, some have visited many a nude beach and have never seen a tan line.

But what happens when your breasts don’t match your body? What happens (being completely hypothetical here) when you’re five foot three and a pretty small person and wear a size 36G (or a 36 DDDD), and they’re so completely disproportionate to your body?

So maybe I wasn’t being completely hypothetical. I’m that imaginary person, and this is me. I’m a very short, athletically built female. I run almost every day, have played tennis religiously since I was six years old, and am a usual at my gym. And I had some huge bazonkas. Totally disproportionate. Like what a thirteen-year-old boy would draw. I had to wear three sports bras when I ran. They gave me migraines, back pains, and shoulder aches. Despite my small body, I had to wear extra-large shirts, and even venture into the plus sized department to find button downs that fit.

And the problems weren’t even purely physical. As I’ve stated in the past, I’m incredibly self-conscious of my body. I was a serial dieter, and my main motivation was to shrink my breasts. I hated my body, to the point where I would never look in a mirror unless I was fully clothed, and refused to take showers at night lest I accidentally glimpse my naked body in the shower. Men felt like they were entitled to make comments on my large breasts (no matter what I was wearing). Once, in a bar, in a MEN’S t-shirt and jeans, a (completely unknown) man called me “tits”, and you can best believe that’s the closest I’ve ever been to being in a bar fight. I hated my breasts with a deep, burning passion, and by extension, hated my entire body.

So, what did I do? Something people consider controversial, even though it’s my own body and I can make my own decisions, since I am an adult. I got a breast reduction. It’s a pretty invasive surgery. I stayed the night in the hospital. I met the doctor beforehand, and she took some pictures (awkward), and then felt the tissue to see if I was a good candidate (awkward, plus cold hands). She said most women like the wait until after children because they can get bigger during pregnancy and the surgery may leave me unable to breast feed. I said I might not even have babies and I don’t want to hate my body for another decade.

My insurance covered the surgery because I had documented many years of doctors’ visits for shoulder pain, back pain, and migraines. I also had proof that I had tried to cure these naturally through physical therapy, and it didn’t work. I got the surgery about three weeks ago.

I’m not going to lie, healing is very uncomfortable. I couldn’t use my arms for three days, had to sleep sitting up for a week, and I had to take an indefinite leave of absence from my job because I can’t lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk (and most animals weigh more than that). I’m still wearing the granny surgery bra that they gave me. My breasts are very cone shaped (think Madonna) so that they can relax into a natural shape over time. They’re rock hard and have no feeling in them (yet. It’ll come back!).

Guys, it was worth it. I have never felt so good in my body. I don’t mind looking at myself in the mirror. Heck, I like looking in the mirror. I now wear a medium in shirts and a 36C in bras. I feel like I have a whole new body, and I absolutely love it. I highly recommend the surgery if you are in need of it.

Just one final thing: people will have unnecessary opinions and feel as though it is their right to voice them. They’ll ask what your boyfriend/fiancé/husband will think about the size/scars, even if you’re single. Men will make that annoying pouty puppy dog face and say “aww, what a waste. Why would you ever want to do that?”. Note: these are usually the same men that make you feel uncomfortable by leering at you. However, women will ask the same questions. Women with small boobs will huff and say, “if I were you, I would never consider such a thing.”

Don’t listen to them. It’s your body. It was the best decision I have ever made, and I will stand by my decision. I am now the proudest new card-holding member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.

 

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