Missing people who are no longer in your life is such a painful emotion. It’ll hit you at the weirdest time: a picture of the girl you swore would be best friends forever will pop up on your Facebook screen, and you’ll suddenly be wondering what went wrong and if it’s too late to save the friendship even though it’s been four years since you last spoke. You’ll be comfortable in your bed, imitating a burrito in your blankets, and you’ll have a dream about someone that your friendship never got closure to, and you’ll wake up missing them and wishing that you could run into them at Target one day or something.

See, on a daily basis, I miss so many people. I miss my mom when I need someone completely non-judgmental to rant to and get actual, helpful advice. I miss my dad when I have a stupid joke that no one else would get, or my car is making noises that make me scared to approach it. I miss my best friends who are currently spread out all over the world when I realize that I’ve never had friends like them, and I never will, and yet they’re not here. But missing people that you can’t send a quick text to, or an ugly snapchat, or skype or call or send a letter by carrier pigeon to is so much worse, because those lonely feelings will probably never be resolved.

You can see a rubber duck at the mall and wonder what went wrong and why you’re not friends anymore and doesn’t best friends forever actually mean forever. You can think about sending 100000 Facebook messages saying “Hi, remember me?” but you never will, you’re too afraid, they’ve moved on with their life why can’t you it’s been four years get a grip.

Maybe I’ll make it a 2016 resolution to contact at least one person I used to know and say hi. I say 2016 because it would take me the next eight months to work up the courage to do something like that.

On an unrelated note: happy April Fools! May your day be free of mean jerks who think it’s fun to embarrass people.